There’s a trend where content creators find the most expensive foods in the world and try them out for their audiences. It feels grimy that just as the economy is tanking and import tariffs are through the roof, these super-rich indulgences are paraded to the masses like circus acts. Are viewers meant to feel awe? Aspiration? Or just pure disgust?
This whole thing repels me. £150 melons, dollops of caviar eaten off the back of hands, Wagyu beef… all in my face just when what we really need is affordable comfort foods.
So, can these luxe offerings ever really be worth it? And are there cheaper alternatives?
The £150 melon
The expensive version: I make a pilgrimage to Harrods – where most influencers are finding the top three crazily priced fruits in the country. I buy a pack of 12 “Bijan-hime” (beautiful princess) strawberries, grown in Japan, each on an individual plant and crafted entirely for flavour at £70 for the pack. A Jubari melon grown on a solo vine that’s been massaged and turned for consistent sweetness at £150. And “Ruby Roman” grapes that are the chunkiest grape you’ve ever seen – with flawless thin skins, seedless and 18 per cent sugar content at £70.
The cheaper alternative: To make it fair, I am hitting the new “hyper” greengrocers Bora and Sons in Walthamstow village. They specialise in high-quality tropical fruits. I buy their best-quality strawberries, melon, and grapes for comparison.
The taste test: The Dutch strawberries from Bora and Sons are fat, firm, bright red, almost “cartoon” perfect, and they cost £8 a punnet. While not as fully rounded or sweet as British strawberries grown in season, they’re still fantastic specimens.
The Japanese strawberries hit differently. They instantly flood your mouth with intense strawberry perfume. They’re sweet with sherbet tang and full of rounded body. You taste them all over your tongue, and they both bite and squirt back at you – they’re so juicy. These are heaven. Almost £7 a strawberry heaven.
The expensive melon is small and tight, reeking of sweet honey. When cut, it juices everywhere – the juiciest melon there ever was. It’s very sweet but actually over-ripe and a little fizzy at the back of my palate. I prefer the regular melon.
The expensive grapes are ludicrously big – I almost can’t get them into my mouth. They’re sweet. Dare I say too sweet? The South African Purple finger grapes from my local greengrocer are way tastier and more interesting.
Worth it? For the strawberries, this is kind of a religious experience. Will a normal strawberry ever suffice again? I doubt it. The melon is definitely not worth the money. Ditto the grapes.
Caviar
The expensive version: Caviar has traditionally been one of the most expensive items on a menu and is now being added to everything from steak tartare to pizza, crisps to McDonald’s. Last year, I witnessed my 73-year-old mother doing a caviar bump – a trend of eating caviar off the back of your hand – which felt weird and uncomfortable.
We’re at a place where excess meets luxury, and people find it funny to take caviar like cocaine. The most expensive Persian Almas Beluga is £200 for 10g and goes up to £8000.
The cheaper alternative: British company Exmoor Caviar sell 10g of Baerli for only £14, Kaluga retails at £22, and Beluga at £48. That’s seriously good value. They establish long-term relationships with key partner farms in Europe and Northern Chinese farms. Don’t be fooled into thinking that Chinese produce means bad quality. The Qiandao Lake, where the caviar is grown, is one of the most sustainable fish farms in the whole world.
The taste test: As part of my gig, I get to eat a lot of caviar. Of course, there is a difference, but when I think back to the quality of lumpfish roe – the really cheap tiny black beads of caviar from the supermarket, even the cheapest proper caviar is a gazillion times better quality. Caviar gets bigger the older it gets and the big beads are the ones which cost the most.
Worth it? With caviar, get what you can afford.
Wagyu beef
The expensive version: True Japanese Wagyu (like A5 Kobe, Matsusaka, or Omi beef) is the holy grail. Purebred Japanese black cattle are fed special diets for years and fattened slowly over 600 days. Every cow has a lineage, a nose print and is treated to spa days. Japan’s grading system runs from A1 to A5, with A5 having the highest yield and finest marbling. For this quality, you’re looking at about £250-300 a kilo.
The cheaper alternative: British or Australian Wagyu is often crossbred with Angus or other beef cattle. Most Wagyu is outdoor reared on enriched grazing then indoor finished with grain. It retails around £25-£50 a kilo at Waitrose, Marks and Spencer and even Costco.
The taste test: Japanese Wagyu has fat “marbling” that is finely distributed throughout the meat. It gives a really juicy meat, and as we know, fat is flavour, so it’s full of good beefy flavour that literally melts in your mouth. British Wagyu is still heavily marbled, super buttery to taste, but not as tender as Japanese – but it’s still a stonkingly good product despite being a fraction of the price.
Worth it? The Wagyu steaks from Waitrose are excellent, and my mum swears blind about the Costco stuff!
Foie gras
The expensive version: Traditional foie gras production is completely inhumane. During a process called gavage, geese are force-fed 5-6 times the amount of food they would normally eat. The liver becomes “fatty,” creating that buttery texture and flavour. A whole liver costs about £80 retail, and for the foie gras pate, you can get a 150g glass pot for £30.
The more ethical alternative: Spanish farmer Eduardo Sousa makes a natural foie alternative by giving geese vast natural habitat with heavily enriched soil and lots of food. Geese naturally over-eat in winter to prepare for migration. You can buy Sousa’s “Non-Force Fed” foie gras from Fine and Wild for £115 a pot.
The taste test: I don’t need to try foie gras. I’ve tried it and cooked with it for years, but don’t anymore, because we know better. Even the ethical foie gras is incredibly expensive, but if you’re prepared to spend on luxury, is this the place to spend? Personally, I think so.
Worth it? It’s ethical foie gras all the way for me.
My final feelings
I won’t be spending that kind of money on fruit from Harrods when I have brilliant greengrocers selling delicious produce for a fraction of the price. I’m pleased caviar is booming, but please can we stop with caviar bumps? And the fact that you can get great Wagyu beef at affordable prices makes me happy for everyone.
It’s interesting but perhaps not surprising that these luxury products are booming at this crazy time for the world economy. Let’s not forget that the biggest luxury items during the war were bananas and pineapples – and those were expensive.
